What’s not to love about a fierce, stiletto mani on the red carpet? Laverne Cox credits exaggerated shapes for making her hands appear more soft. JLo and Ariana Grande inspired Kristin Chenoweth to try stiletto tips. And Khloe Kardashian has called the nail shape her “jam.”
But take that mani into everyday life and the complexities of wearing long AF claws become downright baffling. Need proof? Just check one of Cardi B.’s latest tweets, in which she posts a shot of jewel-encrusted, holographic stiletto nails — err, in the context of a public bathroom. “Bout to fuck shit up,” she cheekily writes. And it’s enough to send Twitter and our minds into an existential frenzy. Wait: is she saying what we think she’s saying? And when it comes to nails of clawlike proportions, exactly how does it all work? In short, we’ve got some questions.
Let’s get the most blaring (and unsavory) question out of the way first: Um, exactly how does one wipe with those things? Though some followers do offer theories, we’re not the only ones scratching our heads.
How you wiping though? Like not trying to be nasty, I just figure it’s hard. pic.twitter.com/F1rQn4a1Hn
— Larry Lewis (@Bonzi68) October 11, 2017
On second thought, maybe leveling up to double-platinum fame means having an assistant who does those things for you?
Somebody help her wipe!! NOWW!! pic.twitter.com/qNQjACPOnN
— Emmanuel👊 (@DrEdub094) October 11, 2017
And while we’re at it, let’s talk about accessing and laying down those toilet seat liners, which are so tissue thin: How to keep the right bits intact with such sharp stiletto tips?
— phats Kasi (@phats_kasi) October 11, 2017
Say you do need an extra hand while in the ladies: Does hammering out an SOS text with sharp tips make more than word salad? For her part, Chinowith admits a certain level of difficulty when trying to type with stiletto nails, telling Refinery29, “Of course, I can’t type or text. People get weird emails from me that make no sense because it’s a thing trying to do it. [Laughs.] It’s not exactly practical, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t look good.” As one Cardi B. follower points out, big buttons on landlines never looked better:
— Bill Gibson (@billg5852) October 11, 2017
Finally, when it comes to touching up makeup sinkside, exactly what moves are required to grip that skinny eyeliner pencil, then smudge it out with fingers while not allowing the nail to blindside your work? If the rapper’s delicate hair flip is any example, she’s got it on lock:
— 💛 (@xWorldJBTS) October 11, 2017
While Cardi B.’s hilarious tweet leaves far more questions than anyone has answers, we’ve got to hand it to her: Whether on stage, the carpet, the street, or bathroom stall, the rapper and her mani remain unyieldingly on point.
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